I like Ike

Tiptoeing into the minefield of revisionist history

I played bridge last night. I’m getting better, or at least a little quicker with decisions, which is a relief for my partner and opponents as they sit watching the paint dry while I’m debating whether to pass or open with a measly 1-club bid holding an 11-point hand in third position. Liz Bronfman (71), my teacher, says “Bidding and play will get a lot faster when you get your bridge muscles, which comes after lots of practice.”

As she was dealing the first hand, Liz said, “Now Dan, I don’t want you talking and asking all kinds of questions. Just bid and play with a smooth rhythm.” I broke that rule a few times but kept things moving, and Ted Decker (73) and I only failed to fulfill contract once, took 2 rubbers of 3 and came out ahead of Liz and card-shark Dierdra O’Malley (94).

You-Shumway, why do you spend time and mental energy on bridge when you should be saving the world and, I don’t know, pestering David Icke for a third interview?

Me-Hey, Romans 8:28! (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…)

Y-Yeah, but bridge?

M-Sure! I’ll not apologize for it. In fact I’m going to spend a decent chunk of the holidays playing it with my wife and kids. You know how much it costs to go skiing?! Bridge is free and challenges the mind. Besides, time was when everyone played. I remember getting dragged upstairs for introductions every time my parents hosted bridge night. Didn’t see the point of it when there were Sanford and Son reruns to watch, but now I do. I wish my parents coaxed or forced me into it, to get me away from the TV at least.

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Besides using it as an excuse to get the family together and get my kids off their screens, there is another thing I like about bridge- I get to meet all these oldsters whom otherwise would remain unknown to me. What other generations can you ask questions like, “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” besides the older boomers and silent generation crowd? (and that of course is the demographic at the bridge table, Shumway family notwithstanding)

Speaking of Kennedy, our group last night was talking about past presidents and what each of us thought of them. Liz said, “I think Eisenhower was a good president! Remember the “I like Ike buttons?” ¹

Ted- I remember those. He was well-liked. And a darn good bridge player too.

Liz- Yes, I’ve heard that. I just think he was a great president!

Dierdre- Ike was the first president I ever voted for!

Liz- Was he? That’s just great!

Dan- cough. Well, let me tell you a little about Eisenhower, you see…..

Just kidding, I didn’t say anything. In my mind I was thinking about

• his mistress and the goods they had on him for blackmail.

• his enthusiasm for the genocidal Morgenthau plan.

• his antipathy toward Patton, a better general and better man.

• his part in the murder of hundreds of thousands and perhaps millions of Germans, post-war!

• his belated warning about the military-industrial complex, after 8 years of doing nothing about it, etc.

  

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• Patton’s diaries have little good to say about Ike. He thought Eisenhower was an inept leader; he was disgusted by the affair with the his British intel “chauffeur”; and he was bitter about being prevented from getting to Poland/Czech/etc. and preventing the Soviets from taking and raping Eastern Europe.

On July 12, 1944, Patton wrote in his diary, “Neither Ike nor Bradley has the stuff. Ike is bound hand and foot by the British and doesn’t know it. Poor fool.”

Eisenhower, in April, 1951, Koblenz, West Germany, the moment he found out MacArthur had been fired by Truman. “Well I’ll be darned!” said Ike.

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*… and why did you remain silent and not enlighten your bridge partners about the real Eisenhower, Dan?

I know. I could have. I have friends urging me to speak out loudly and with the same passion I have when among fellow tin-foil rabble-rousers here in the Bitterroot. OK, then- two reasons:

1. My word on particular subjects is not as good as the experts I interview. I intend to get to the bottom of the Dwight D. Eisenhower story, via an expert in a lengthy conversation.

2. I think an indirect approach might work better when confronted with cherished delusions. Straight up telling a group of people who are all in pleasant agreement, supporting each other with affiliative smiles, that their hero is a no-good scoundrel might not be the most effective approach. Perhaps better would be something like this. “Ah, it’s interesting you mention Eisenhower. I actually have an upcoming interview with a historian who has studied the man extensively. You might be interested.”

Now, along those lines I already have an interview ready to upload, that focuses on the need to present revisionist history. It was actually the first interview of my trip to Europe, recorded just a couple hours before getting on the plane here in Missoula. I shall post it here tomorrow.

Revisionist History: Interview #2 with Professor Richard Drake, University of Montana historian.

Peanuts comics: United Features Syndicate.

1. As you can see, I’m not much of an Eisenhower fan, but I do like David Icke. Here’s a better campaign button: