Larry the Exorcist

And the European invasion

Score one for the good guys! My friend from team Freedom here in the Bitterroot, Larry DeVries, came to the rescue and fixed my Hewlett Packard notebook computer!

If you’ll remember from my recent Luddite post, though I hadn’t changed any settings, Microsoft told me I indeed had and now I’d better sign in with Microborg or forget about computing, peon!

Larry helped me go through the semi-tedious procedure of finding the correct email account, changing passwords and pushing the right buttons for the right duration on my keyboard to complete the process. It worked! The best part of my phone consultation with Techie Larry was when he asked, “OK, Dan. When you pushed the power button for ten seconds the second time what happened?”

I said, “Yeah. Like I said, it didn’t work! I couldn’t get back in! It was just like the first time!”

Then there was a pause and Larry slowly and calmly said, “OK, now listen to me Dan, this isn’t how you talk to a techie. You need to use language that indicates exactly what happened. Tell me precisely what you saw on your screen, and precisely what you did at that point.”

My immediate, unspoken thought was, “I just told you and nothing happened!” and then I wondered if Larry was losing patience with me, but then I took a breath and did just what he told me. Sure enough, when I just listened carefully and followed Larry’s instructions, we were able to get the old HP running again. Now I know how to talk to a techie!

That reminds me a bit of that first bridge lesson. Dennis was patient with us bridge dolts but at times he had to step in and tell us to shut our traps and just listen to his instructions. That worked out pretty well too. Who cares whether or not the guy kindly volunteering his time expresses a smidgen of irritation, when things are getting done!

Now I have all my old indispensable files back like quotable quotes and idea bank and memes for next substack and bumper sticker and t-shirt slogans and to-do lists and photos of old flings and it’s all part of the good fight; the Davos crowd is on the defensive! Well, all except for the fact that now I indeed do have to use my new Microsoft password to get into my computer. I guess the Borg could claim a win there. Nevermind that, though because Larry says the first thing I should do is back up my files and then switch to Linux. And once I’ve switched operating systems I can kiss Microsoft goodbye. Larry said, “That’s what I tell everyone. Get away from those satanic bloodsuckers. I feel like an exorcist because people say ‘Ditch Microsoft?! But, but, but…but then how will I access this or that? I just don’t know!’

“Again, I say, ‘Ditch them!’

“But then they say, ‘but shouldn’t I keep Microsoft products X, Y, and Z?’

“And I just say ‘get rid of them completely. Cancel your membership, deregister, dump them!’ Whatever you want to call it. I’m know what I’m talking about. I’m the Microsoft exorcist!”

Adding to the fact that I have the computer back, Lukas my tech sidekick is coming back over from Germany. Besides his normal A/V and editing duties, I’m hopefully going to have him be the co-admin on the social media platforms for BBR, freeing up time for me to research and prepare for interviews. We’re going to give the Borg a black eye.

Speaking of which, Bernd and Heike are coming over for a spell at the New Year, and they were just here in summer. The Germans love the Bitterroot!

Not to mention, my good friend Jean Claude Ferfignan is here for a visit from France.

It’s a winter European invasion!

Here’s Jean Claude with a little message: