Calm the marks. Rattle the marks.

NPR does a little of both.

Calm the marks: Yesterday’s news as the clock-radio alarm went off: Re-Epstien and the crazy conspiracy theory that he didn’t kill himself- nothingburger. Move along folks, nothing to see here. And done in that chit-chatty, nonchalant, know-it-all NPR way. Let’s smirk and have a little laugh at the expense of people who get bent out of shape with the minutiae of the case and make wild claims that things don’t add up. The morning announcer was satisfied with the journalist’s report. Thank you John for putting an end to this baseless, irresponsible speculation. Later there were reports about the paucity of real information in the Epstein files. See here, folks, we’ve proved that it was suicide, just as we’ve been telling you all along. And furthermore, there wasn’t much to the files anyway. (then why did he kill himself? a tin-foiler might ask)

Rattle the marks: This morning’s NPR report: The budget for ICE is increasing from about 15 billion to 150 to 170 billion, and this is a major deal. You will now see ICE agents everywhere: schools, hospitals, supermarkets and other stores. It will be a constant, ubiquitous presence of these officers. And I kid you not, this is what the NPR journalist concluded: “We are turning into a police and surveillance state.”

cue Trump worshipper voice: No, no! All that ICE money ‘n stuff is just for illegal brown people!

A police state? That sounds pretty conspiratorial. Yesterday I thought NPR was up to their usual deceit, doing their best to damage the reputation of skeptics and noticers, and now they are on the side of the conspiracy theorists. What gives? Maybe it’s one of those forewarnings that remove any excuses down the road for people who sit on their ass and do nothing, kind of like the predictive programming in TV and movies.

normie in ICE detention center-But how could we know it would come to this?

ICE detention center torture specialist- Are you kidding me, we told you a million times! It was plain as day, you chump! Alligator Alcatraz? Why the heck would we need an expensive detention center in the middle of nowhere like that for illegals when we can just deport them and send them back across the border, or put them on a flight to Tegucigalpa? You were sleeping and you got hosed, you putz. Now get back on the rack!

In any case, I agree with NPR today. They are building a police/surveillance state right in front of our face. It’s the main subject of the interview I’m doing this weekend in Phoenix.

“No they’re not, cuz Trump! googeegoogee goooooo.”

Look, Trump idolators- here’s the deal. As Andrew Anglin said, if they wanted to stop illegal immigration, they could do it cheaply and easily, and possibly even for profit. No need for wall, no Alligator Alcatraz detention centers, no masked agents kidnapping university students with green cards doing their doctoral theses, no former prison guard, pot-belly, shaved head, now in an ICE uniform, armed goon staring you down in the canned vegetables aisle at Super One. Simply do this:

1. prosecute people who provide jobs to illegals

2. prosecute people who rent housing to illegals

Done deal. Add a fine and you have a new money maker for the government. But noooo, we need everything in place that can be used on those byad brown people, and you and me!

The detention centers are not for me. No way!

OK. You’re probably right. They’ll grab me first. And a few other undesirables. Maybe a couple hundred thousand arrests will do it, then the rest of the population will learn to be docile, like a good citizen in Soviet Russia, circa ‘39.

• But even if you’re not afraid of being on a list and getting hauled off to the FEMA camp or ICE detention center, why not join me in opposing this ICE stuff? Do you want armed, uniformed ICE agents patrolling the aisles of Costco? Do you want detention camps built all over the country? The point is, if it can be used against you, it might.

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Office Secretary Stacey Ogilvy-Good afternoon, Mr. Willingham. Here to pick up Tiffany?

Fred Willingham-Yes. Is she in the classroom?

-No, she’d be out back on the playground with the other children. You can just go out the back door there and get her.

-OK, thanks.

-Oh! Wait Mr. Willingham, I didn’t see that you had Fang with you.

-Is there a problem?

-Well, I don’t think you can take Fang into the pre-school with you.

-Why not?

-Well, he could be dangerous to the children.

-What? Fang is gentle. And I just saw a lady out back in the playground with a dog.

-Yes, but that’s only Mrs. Billingsworth with her little ShiTzu Fluffy. In fact Fluffy is a companion dog.

-Fang’s a companion dog! I got permission for my wife to travel with Fang on a flight to Salt Lake last winter!

enter headmaster Schwartz

headmaster Schwartz: Good evening, Mr. Willingham. Is there a problem?

-Yeah, you guys won’t let me take my dog with me. He’s fine. He’s gentle and he loves kids.

Schwartz: Yes, I’m sure he is. But the problem, Fred, isn’t necessarily what we think he’ll do, it’s what he’s capable of doing. Mrs. Billingsworth’s Fluffy couldn’t hurt one of our students if he tried. But ol’ Fang here could rip the head off of any 4-year old quite easily, don’t you think? We’re just erring on the side of caution. Plus the children might feel a little uncomfortable with your one-eyed pit-bull-Doberman-wolf mix. I’m sure you understand.

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And I’m sure you understand. These ICE agents and detention facilities might after all be only for bad, border-jumping, job-stealing, free-lunch munching brown people. But it all could be used for patriots, couldn’t it? Haven’t you learned any lessons about the government and what happened, during the Trump administration, on January 6th?