Britain between interviews

In search of English charm.

A while back my brother spent the bucks to get his 23&me test. I was mildly curious; I wasn’t going to blow hard-earned money to give my DNA to a San Francisco-based genetic testing company, but I figured I may as well know where we came from. The results came back quick, and indicated Tom was basically an Anglo-Saxon with just a sprinkling of Scandinavian, under 5%. I was a bit disappointed, not to be Anglo Saxon mind you, but to have so little Viking blood. I’d thought my grandfather (Hansen) was pure Dane. I had a girlfriend once (American) whose hair was blonder than Agnetha Fältskog’s and was pretty proud of being 100% Swede. She’d better not take that test.

Anyway, being Anglo-Saxon, I travelled through England trying to imagine that the land of my ancestors was speaking to me, welcoming me back. The parts we were traveling through after the Nick Cotton interview were less Guggli than London and surroundings and I wondered if I shared blood with some of the locals I met. I’ve read that all the US presidents besides one have a blood connection with King John of Magna Carta fame. Maybe that blue-eyed dude with the bad dentistry who just poured me an ale at the Cock & Bull is a relative, and we can trace our lineage to Aethelwulf or something.

So on a light and fluffy note, let’s forget Trump, the election, and Matt Gaetz for a spell and go searching for the charm of Merry England!

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In and around the town of Stotfold in Bedfordshire, we discovered charming…

houses:

D-Day celebration flags. Oh, Britain! The flower of your youth, twice whittled down, and now your heritage headed for extinction. Was it worth it?

dogs:

the charming but inscrutable English Bulldog

dog ice-cream shops:

thick-grassy fields with willows:

Strict-Communion Baptist chapels:

with strict but humble pastors:

Pastor Hadley and wife Judith celebrated their golden anniversary last year. Five kids and 19 grand kids, and they don’t feed their dogs reduced-lactose ice cream. That’s how you preserve England!

kiddie fairs:

All children will be issued Gumbles bar-code wristbands, no exceptions! Failure to wear bands and present to scanning devices will result in immediate removal by the constabulary and severe fines.

languid brooks:

and best of all…

charming Costco shoppers:

Pepsi Max and special Kirkland Gelato window?? I’m moving to England.

I figured if we loaded up on cheap calories, we could skip the next three or four meals.

They got jacket potatoes too. (Napoleon Dynamite voice) Luckeeeee.

In the next light and fluffy England post, we’ll head further north and discover historic York!

Addendum: My brother got new genealogy results in. He must have tried another company or they ran the tests again, and this time things are more defined. 1/4 Anglo-Saxon; 1/4 Dane (grandpa was right). 20% non-Saxon German, and 20% Scot, and the remainder just a bit of Dutch, Swede and Irish. So I guess I am that axe-wielding, bad-ass Viking/Saxon after all, with a good dose of Scot thrown in for attitude and Costco-cafeteria parsimony!

Admit it, fellow Yanks. You liked the Costco pictures best.

Everybody loves Costco. God bless America!